Everybody
Loves Squidkitty
(A
little satirical scene set in the “Obligation” continuity)
Once upon a time...
"Kagato-sempai! Kagato-sempai!" Akiko entered the mostly deserted subspace lab, her hands tucked behind her back as if to conceal something.
Kagato looked up from his books. “Yes?” Annoyance hinted along the edges of his voice.
“You remember what day it is, right?”
“Tuesday.”
“No.”
“Wednesday?”
“No.”
“Your birthday.”
“No.”
“Mine.”
“No, it’s midwinter festival.” Akiko smiled brightly. “Here, I brought you something.” She pulled out a neatly ribbon-wrapped rectangular box, and set it before Kagato, on his desk. “I saved up and had it sent from off-planet.” The box rustled as she set it down.
“Hmmm?” Kagato glanced at his books, quickly memorizing where he had left off, before closing them, piling them up neatly, and pushing them aside. He pulled the box close. “What is it?
“A special holiday present,” Akiko beamed. “Open it.”
Kagato looked at the box curiously. He could have sworn that it wiggled a bit by its own volition. He picked up the box and repressed the urge to give it a good shake. Instead, he began untying the ribbon, ripping off the blue, yellow, and silver colored paper, revealing a pewter-dark box with fastenings. Fastenings? Kagato blinked. It seemed as though…as though it was perhaps a miniature stasis kit…
Kagato paused. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“Of course. What do you think I got you, something with claws, a stinger, poison, and radioactivity?”
“Ah…of…of course not. That would be ridiculous.” Kagato took the lid off of the case.
“Happy Midwinter!” Akiko smiled sweetly. “Isn’t it cute?”
From within the case, beneath layers of packing material, came the peep of a pair of bright dark eyes. A little nose followed, and a pair of white paws came sneaking out of the wrapping.
“Oh…it’s lovely…” Kagato reached in, pulling the little white kitten out of the box. “How did you know that I wanted a c-c-c…” His voice trailed off as he pulled the rest of the cat out of the box.
“Cat?” Akiko added helpfully.
“This. This is not a cat.” Kagato stared at the squiggling creature in his hands. The front side was that of a white cat, with perfect little paws and bright black eyes, but the rest…the rest…
“Of course not. It’s a squidkitty.”
“I can see that.” The hindquarters of the cat was that of a squid’s mantle, it’s paired fins flapping helplessly in the air.
“Well, don’t you like it?”
“I…” Kagato stared at the squidkitty, dumbfounded. The squidkitty then chose to mew disdainfully, and angling itself, jetted a black, viscous stream of ink all over Kagato, an amazing amount for such a tiny creature. By the time it was done squirting, a little droplet of black clung to Kagato’s chin for a moment, before dripping off onto the floor.
“I see.”
Later…
“It seems,” Kagato said, raising his glass for another refill, “That you are correct in your estimation.”
“Of course you’d like it. Everyone loves squidkitty.” Akiko said as she topped off his glass.
“I hadn’t thought that I would care for it, but it’s true. I do love it.”
“Seconds?”
“Absolutely.”
The squidkitty’s head looked up from the plate with a blank, sweet smile.
“You know, Kagato, if you love squidkitty, I bet you’ll love clamkitty.”
“Sounds delicious.”